Always the Bridesmaid and never the Bride…..

Married life now begins at 40 with one in ten Australians waiting until their forties to tie the knot. Quite often age and assets go hand in hand. If you are marrying or moving in with someone you may want to think about protecting your current or future assets with a binding family law agreement also known as a pre-nuptial or cohabitation agreement.

What is a cohabitation agreement?

A cohabitation agreement is a binding legal agreement which is used by couples who are planning to live together (a de facto relationship). It explains how your assets, financial resources and any liabilities are to be divided should your relationship come to an end.

What is a pre-nuptial agreement?

As the name suggests it is a binding legal agreement used by couples who plan on marrying one another. Like a cohabitation agreement it explains how your assets, financial resources and liabilities are to be divided should your marriage come to an end. 

Pre-nuptial or cohabitation agreements are often negotiated by way of collaborative practice – where you and your partner and your family lawyers sit around the table to discuss what is important to each of you and both of you together.

At Bayside Collaborative we can guide you in sensitively discussing issues with your partner, either yourself or by us communicating with them directly or with their lawyer.  

For more information about the Collaborative process please contact us or visit our website at www.baysidecollaborative.com.au 

Divided Loyalties – it doesn’t have to be that way

Divorce isn’t easy on anyone in the family, and grandparents are no exception. The hurt feelings, sadness and anger that erupt at the time of a separation can threaten and potentially destroy even the most loving of family relationships. For grandparents, focus usually turns to protecting their own son or daughter regardless of whose decision it was to separate. After all blood is thicker than water – isn’t it?

It is crucial for grandparents to try and take a neutral stance in front of their grandchildren. The most important rule to remember is to never speak ill of their former daughter or son in law in front of their grandchildren – never. The family dynamics are changing with one parent perhaps moving out of the family home or the home being sold with children potentially having to move school and friendship circles. Their safety net isn’t as tight as it once was and grandchildren need the stability, reassurance and support from grandparents during this difficult time whilst their parents navigate their separation.

Grandparents often become a grandchild’s confidant during a separation as children feel they perhaps can’t open up to mum or dad or burden them at this time. Whatever a grandparents thoughts are as to the separation one must put their own personal feelings aside and put on their happy face when with their grandchildren. If children hear another family member speaking ill of their mother or father they tend to take it personally and want to defend their mother or father. It puts the grandchild in a difficult position, of choosing sides and of being involved in non-age appropriate conversations. Taking sides or speaking ill of another may result in catastrophic events for grandparents as their grandchildren or former daughter or son in law may prevent all communication and not wish to spend any time with the grandparents. 

As a grandparent you may have been close to your daughter or son in law and in turn their parents and feel a sense of loss by the sudden changing dynamics. Those relationships can continue to prosper albeit there needs to be a mutual desire to do so. 

The most important thing to remember is that children of separated parents whose parents treat each other with kindness and respect are the children who do the best in the long term and the same applies to grandparents.

At bayside collaborative we can assist your child to resolve their separation issues constructively ensuring a positive outcome for your grandchildren.

Constructive Negotiation

How it works

Constructive negotiation enables you and your partner to negotiate with each other through your lawyers.

You each brief your lawyers about your expectations and the lawyers negotiate to reach agreement through correspondence or round table meetings or a combination of both.

With constructive negotiation lawyers play a more active role in the negotiation process.

The method of communication – correspondence, telephone attendances, meetings – can vary but the objective is still to reach a negotiated separation agreement.

This process doesn’t require clients to be together in the same room.

For more information about the Collaborative process please contact us or visit our website at www.baysidecollaborative.com.au

Two birthdays – wouldn’t that be nice

Previously having two birthdays a year was reserved for the likes of the Monarchy. Just imagine, two parties, two birthday cakes and if you are lucky two sets of presents. 

Queen Elizabeth celebrates her official birthday this year on the 12^th June being the 2^nd Monday of the month and a public holiday. It’s an opportunity to have a long weekend spending time with family.

Nowadays having two birthdays is becoming a popular occurrence given the increasing number of separated families with each parent wanting to enjoy and make the most of theirs and their child’s special day. Celebrating twice is not only reserved for birthdays but also other special family occasions such as Christmas, mother’s day, father’s day and Easter.

Often negotiating arrangements for children to spend time with both parents can become problematic and lead to upset, anger and frustration. What is of primary importance though is for children, regardless of their parents differences to still spend time with both of their parents at special times however that can be facilitated.

Choosing to adopt a collaborative approach to discuss arrangements for your children following a separation will prevent such difficult and upsetting conversations and help you focus on what is important for your children. 

Visit our website for more information www.baysidecollaborative.com.au 

So what is Mediation?

 

Mediation is a voluntary and confidential negotiation process in which a professionally trained mediator helps you and your partner to identify, address and resolve the issues surrounding separation and divorce.

How it works

Mediation takes place over one or more meetings.

The mediator facilitates discussion but does not provide any legal advice or make any decisions, which means that ultimately the solutions in mediation are created by you and your partner. The mediator remains neutral at all times, simply managing the process and assisting with the exchange of information and the development of the divorce settlement.

You are both free and encouraged to obtain legal advice about legal issues that arise during the course of the mediation.

 

Mediation has a high success rate. Lawyers can represent parties in the mediation process but often parties attend mediation without a lawyer. 

Visit our website for more information www.baysidecollaborative.com.au 

Is the Collaborative process right for me?

You may be asking yourself what the Collaborative Process is and whether it is right for you.

Collaborative Practice:-

• Gives you direct control over outcomes.

• Promotes consensus and agreement.

• Minimises conflict.

With Collaborative Practice, the focus is on achieving solutions that meet your individual needs and requirements. The process is underpinned by a commitment to resolve issues by agreement without the involvement of the family law court or the threat of litigation.

The next step would be for you and your partner to each choose a Collaboratively Trained Lawyer. The lawyers need to work well together as this is one of the key factors in the success of the process. Your partner’s lawyer may suggest the names of other collaboratively trained lawyers they have worked with well in previous cases.

How it works

The discussion and negotiation in Collaborative Practice takes place through a series of meetings involving you and your partner and your collaboratively trained lawyers.

Other professionals including child specialists, financial experts and valuers can be brought into the process as required. These specialists work with you and your lawyers to identify, explore and resolve the concerns of both parties.

Collaborative practice requires complete, open, honest and transparent disclosure of all information. It’s very effective and has a success rate of about 95%. 


Visit our website for more information www.baysidecollaborative.com.au 

Mother's Day

How will you be celebrating Mother’s day this year? 

Many families celebrate Mother’s Day by showing their appreciation for the achievements and efforts of their mothers and mother figures. Some mums get breakfast in bed, some flowers and chocolates, some mums simply seek peace and quiet.

Families are ever evolving and come in all shapes and sizes in today’s society. For separated families Mother’s Day can be a day as complicated as birthdays and Christmas requiring months of preparation and planning. 

It is helpful to plan ahead and to try and reach an agreement as to who the children should spend time with on important days of the year such as Mother’s Day. This avoids confrontation, anxiety and stress in the lead up to the occasion. It is important to remember during negotiations that it is not what is convenient to you that is important but what is in your child’s best interests.

At Bayside Collaborative we offer a range of ways to resolve issues between you and your spouse or partner. We will help you reach an agreement and formulate a parenting plan which will reduce conflict and acrimony between you. This in turn leads to better relationships and outcomes for all the family.

Don’t forget this year Mother’s day falls on the 14^th May 2017.

Visit our website for more information www.baysidecollaborative.com.au