Thursday, 27 April 2017

Anzac Day

In this week we have honoured Anzac day.  April 25th is one of Australia’s most important national holidays. It marks the anniversary of the First Major Military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the First World War. Generations of families and friends coming together to remember those that gave their lives during the First World War. It’s also a time to reflect and be thankful for your friends – your mates.

The term ‘Mateship’ can be traced back to early colonial times when men and women relied on one another for all sorts of help during hard times. It’s a term that implies a shared experience, unconditional assistance, going beyond that of friendship. Mateship is often used amongst men and became prevalent during the First World War during the challenging times male soldiers were faced with.

Over the years “Mateship” has become an Australian idiom embodying friendship, loyalty and equality. Friendships are some of the most important relationships a person has in their life with many a memory having been made with a friend. A mate is there when times are good and also when times are tough.

Friends can be the first person to notice a change in a friend. Not knowing what to do or say at times can be hard, frustrating and upsetting. It can also be emotionally challenging. You may notice a friend has stopped calling you, has become withdrawn or their behavior has changed. Being there for your mate and knowing what to do can in itself be difficult.

We have set out below some pointers to help you help your mate when times are tough.

  • Encourage your mate to talk to other people, be it a counsellor, a lawyer, a family member or you.
  • Be informed – do some research into what your mate is going through. Being able to understand what your mate is experiencing will reassure them.
  • Let your mate know you care – tell them
  • Be physical – give your mate a hug
  • Do something together – perhaps something unique to the two of you. This will help your mate take their mind off the problem and have some fun
  • Listen – just by being there and listening can be invaluable support for your mates.

Take time to catch up with your mates. Give your mate a call and let them know you are there for them.

At Bayside Collaborative we are here to help your mate who may be contemplating or going through a separation work through their issues in order to make decisions that are right for them.

Thursday, 20 April 2017

Finances and property following separation

When people separate they usually need to decide how to divide their property (assets) and debts (liabilities). For most this can be a daunting and emotional task coupled with the separation itself. There is no set formula in family law as to how your assets and liabilities are shared between you but rather will depend on your individual family circumstances.

It is helpful to prepare a list of the assets and liabilities at the time of separation, by working out what you have, what you owe and what they are worth. This is likely to involve a valuation of the family home. Assets and Liabilities can be in joint names, in your sole name or in the name of a company.

Assets can include:
  • The family home
  • Savings
  • Investments
  • Investment property
  • Shares
  • Cars, motor bikes, boats
  • Inheritance
  • Household items such as furniture and jewellery 
  • Superannuation
  • Companies
  • Income 

Liabilities can include:
  • The mortgage on the family home
  • Credit card balances
  • Loans and personal debt

Reaching an agreement through Collaborative practice has many advantages. It saves both parties time and money and you make your own decisions. This is turn has a positive effect on continuing parenting and communication between both separating parties.

We have an online service via our website that can help you create your own asset list.
At Bayside Collaborative we will listen carefully to your needs and goals. We will assist you in achieving an agreement and then formalising the agreement either by way of a consent order or financial agreement.

Please visit our website to find out more. 

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Easter Time

Easter is a time of celebration, forgiveness and moving forward. Whilst children are looking forward to chocolate Easter eggs school holidays can be especially difficult where parents have separated as there may be issues in relation to the children and the time they spend with each parent. Family breakdown is never easy but by agreeing holiday arrangements in advance the potential for conflict is minimized and both parents and children can move forward with the children's best interests in mind.

Lines can often blur in the emotion with both parents believing they are acting in their children's best interests. It can sometimes turn into a competition between parents as to who the children are spending the most time with and the children themselves become lost in the discussions.

Where possible negotiations as to holiday arrangements should be between parents and not in the presence of the children. It is important children do not feel a sense of guilt in relation to the time they spend with their parents, they want to be having fun.  If face to face discussions are not possible then consider other means to plan arrangements such as an email, phone call, friend or family member assisting.

The children themselves may have commitments during the holiday period such as birthday parties, play dates or sporting activities, they too need to be factored into the arrangements as important social events for the children. Think about who is going to take the children to the events and whether there are overlapping commitments where one parent may need the assistance of the other parent.

If you have separated from your partner and are experiencing difficulties in relation to arrangements for your children then contact us at Bayside Collaborative. With our professional assistance we can help separating couples work together collaboratively to achieve a solution that works for you all as a family and one which is child focused. 

Please visit our website for further information